It’s been a year since I moved to Fremont, CA, from a small town in Khmelnytskyi region, Ukraine. Well, there’s no need to say that my life has changed completely. I’m one of the women who chose legitimate bride sites and found a husband in another country, and I want to share my experience of being a mail order bride. I’ll also answer some of the most frequently asked questions like “How to be a mail order bride,” “How to meet girls online,” “Are mail order brides real?” etc.
How does the mail order brides system work
Firstly, let me clarify what exactly the term “mail order bride” means. The so-called MOBs are women seeking men for marriage, and they are okay with moving to their husband’s country. Guys, in turn, are looking for single foreign women, brides from overseas. Of course, the best way to get a bride is to create a profile on a trusted site. So, everyone’s happy. Still, there are at least two most important things to consider:
- We do not sell ourselves online, so you can’t just buy a girl.
- We’re ready to move to another country, but only if we are sure that a guy we met online is a really good match.
How to become a mail order bride? Women, as well as men, need to find a good agency or a dating site. Then they provide copies of their ID, photos (professional shooting is often paid for by the company), answer some questions (tons of questions, actually) and get full access to their profiles. After that we choose guys we like, contact them, and so on and so forth.
As far as I know, the procedure is similar for men, but they do not need to provide so detailed information about themselves. I should also note that in most cases, girls don’t pay for the services, while men need to purchase membership plans. It seems fair, especially considering that a lot of ladies from my country or from other post-Soviet countries cannot afford a 1-year membership plan.
Why do men choose us?
Why men like foreign women? The first thing that comes to my mind is the beauty of MOBs. Frankly, I saw a lot of beautiful girls in Ukraine, but I have never seen so many gorgeous women in one place. Now, in CA, I see the difference. Women in Ukraine make every effort to look like Hollywood stars even when they go to a city mall, and I can see nothing like that in the US.
The second reason, in my opinion, is that we are less emancipated (in a good way). My husband was really surprised to know how many household chores I can do. He was even more surprised to know that I don’t consider this to be something extraordinary: in Ukraine, most women have to reconcile work and family life, and we do not think that this is a heroic act.
The men I met as a mail order bride
One of the questions that people ask most frequently is what types of guys do single women looking for marriage usually meet on such websites. Frankly, I was a bit nervous about this when I was creating my profile. The good news was that I met a lot of nice guys there, and it was a stark contrast to men I met on Ukrainian and Russian dating sites. So, what qualities do they have?
- Well-mannered. This was the biggest surprise. Of course, there were guys who believed that they could buy a woman, as well as men who thought that women would do anything to marry an American man, but this was an exception, not a rule. Most men are polite and well-mannered.
- Motivated. All conversations that I had were the conversations between two adults who know what they want and make an effort to know each other a bit better. Moreover, most men showed that they want to find a wife and have children. In my opinion, this is one of the biggest benefits of using dating services.
- Attractive. You cannot even imagine how much western guys differ from Slavic men. In Russia and Ukraine, there is an interesting proverb, which states that “a man must be a bit more handsome than a monkey.” Sounds weird, right? Well, I’m happy that western guys have never heard it. I met hundreds of hot men on the sites and even married one of them.
How long does it take to meet the right person?
Foreign women looking for marriage, as well as most men, want to meet the right person as soon as possible. Unfortunately, these things take time. I spend 7 months on the site before I met my husband, and as he says, he spent about a year before he met me. I think that in most cases, it takes about a year to find the right person on the site.
My mail order brides experience
So how does it feel to be a mail order bride? Frankly, it is complicated, in part, because you realize that you have no guarantee that you will meet the right person. People are telling you about mail order bride divorce stats (which is even better than the stats on traditional marriages, actually), dangers, old men you will meet, and so on and so forth.
Still, I’m really happy that I didn’t let all these things stop me from creating a profile and writing my first message. I’m happily married now, and I know for sure that this works. It took about a year to find my beloved husband and move to the US, and though I miss my friends and relatives, I think that this was the right decision.
Some dating tips for you
Guys who are looking for wives online make some common mistakes, so I decided to list them all.
- Choose a woman carefully. So, you want to get a mail order bride. However, you need to find a woman who will make you happy, not a random hot lady. How to do it? Well, it is simple: just be yourself and try to understand who she really is. The most common mistake most men make is pretty obvious: they choose the hottest woman, not a girl with similar interests and views on life.
- Be honest. Do not pretend to be someone else and try to understand who this girl really is. Only this approach will help you find a soulmate, not a woman who will break up with you in a year or two.
- Hey girl, what about meeting me for a cup of coffee next week? Even if you do not mind her coming to your country and paying for her tickets, do not rush things. Even though we call ourselves mail order brides, we sign up to such sites because we want to build a serious relationship, not to have an affair with a random guy.
- Do not send nudes. You can’t even imagine how many, um, “erotic” photos girls receive. You will hardly impress her, but she will definitely remove you from her list of possible matches. You’d better send a nice and sincere message.
Dating online is a pretty easy and exciting this, it is an experience anyone can get. Would I recommend trying it? Yes, definitely! You lose nothing, and the chances to meet someone who was meant for you rise a lot!